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Note To Chris Christie: Why Your Apology Failed

February 19, 2014 By Carolyn Parr 10 Comments

Carolyn Parr, http://toughconversations.net/, discusses the recent BridgeGate scandal involving NJ Governor Chris Christie. On January 9, 2014, Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey publicly apologized for a massive traffic nightmare that several of his political allies allegedly caused four months earlier. Why the delay?

From emails disclosed in January, we learned that in September 2013, these individuals plotted to close two of three lanes leading from Fort Lee, N.J. to the George Washington Bridge. The reason? Apparently, to punish the Democratic mayor of Fort Lee. Once the incident began to garner news headlines, dubbed as the “Bridgegate Scandal,” Gov. Christie claimed he knew nothing of the traffic tie-up until he learned it from the media.

As a result, Manhattan-bound traffic crawled – for four days! We’re usually willing to forgive a leader who sincerely apologizes and tries to make amends. So why do we harbor doubts about Christie’s mea culpa?

1. The Governor failed to take personal responsibility for the traffic disaster. Instead of stating, “I made mistakes,” he said, “Mistakes were made.”
2. He justified firing someone responsible for the disaster by stating she lied to him, not because she helped plan the tie-up.
3. Christie expressed regret for the inconvenience caused to travelers, but failed to acknowledge the enormity of the harm done.
4. The Governor stalled: Instead of promptly investigating the fiasco himself, it took investigators and the media months to uncover correspondence that incriminated several of his political aides.
5. Did Christie really make amends? Well, yes. He apologized in person to the Mayor and residents of Fort Lee. But was that enough? I’m unsure.

So. . . what makes for a credible apology? There are several factors that one should consider when determining a good apology:

– Responsibility for specific behavior is claimed
– The harm caused is acknowledged
– Regret is expressed
– Amends are offered, when possible

And the person apologizing does so early, does it himself, and tells it all. Christie’s apology came up short on all counts. What the Governor might have said: “I’m sorry. I should have intervened the minute I heard about the delay at the bridge. There’s no excuse for this to have lasted four days. I dropped the ball.”

He could have named the pain: “People lost wages by being late, children were left waiting, businesses were hurt. I promise, this will never happen again on my watch.”

Two of the most powerful words in any language are, “I’m sorry.” Why are they so hard to say?

Carolyn April 2010Carolyn Parr
Beyond Dispute Associates
202-359-6141
www.toughconversations.net
carolynparr@toughconversations.net

 

 

© Carolyn Parr and Beyond Dispute Associates, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Carolyn Parr and Beyond Dispute Associates with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Filed Under: Blog, Communication Tagged With: Apology, BridgeGate, Chris Christie, communication, Fort Lee, New Jersey, Political Agenda, PR

Comments

  1. Myra Jones says

    February 21, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    also he could have told the truth–which probably is that the whole shemozzle was his idea. It conforms with the way he regularly does business.

    Basically he is a crook, without the stature to be a governor, much less a president. I fault the corporate media for fawning allover him and helping create a false image of him. They weren’t doing their job.

    And I am tired of politicians who enjoy their sins and crimes– until they get caught. Then we get the press conference, with the little wife by his side (looking grim) and get a fictional performance. Let’s not be so impressed by propaganda in the first place, and quit electing these crooks.

    Reply
    • Carolyn Parr says

      March 18, 2014 at 1:44 am

      Thanks for writing, Myra!

      Reply
  2. Tom Fiutak says

    February 25, 2014 at 9:01 am

    You’re highlighting the criteria for a good apology brought to mind the essential qualities of the far right tea party apologia :

    For they do take responsibility for their action; the harm caused is acknowledged; they delight in the outcome; and the end justifies the means.

    Christie got it half right, the wrong half.

    Reply
    • Carolyn Parr says

      March 18, 2014 at 1:43 am

      Hi Tom, Thanks for your analysis. Made me smie.

      Reply
  3. Carol D. Marsh says

    February 25, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    I don’t know if Christie was in on Bridgegate from the beginning, but I do know that a good leader sets the atmosphere of the work place in such a way that lying and underhanded actions are both explicitly and implicitly disallowed. And thanks for this analysis of his “apology.” Aside from putting it in the passive voice, which most politicians use in such situations, and which immediately sets my teeth on edge, I could not have named why it left me cold.

    Reply
  4. Peter A. Cavicchia II says

    March 14, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    First let me state that I agree with all the points that Carolyn brings up about how Christie’s apology could have been handed better and more sincerely. However because we live in a society that is “Law Suit” crazy his legal and other advisors knew that he had to craft his wording to give them some relief when the law suits start coming in against the State of New Jersey and whom ever else can be brought into the legal action. The suits will not be for fair compensation but for millions of dollars for an expected “pay day’ through settlement etc. The opposing party will use this too surrey Christe’s reputation for their political advantage and not for the true ethical reasons. It is easy for someone looking in to give the righteous apology because there is NO personal or other consequences for them. Hence the word smithing begins as does the media and political circus of as feeding frenzy. I don’t think the Governor knew or planned the traffic fiasco but he should have reacted a lot quicker than 4 days into the situation and should have fired the persons responsible because they did it more than they lied to him but both actions are commingled to a degree. I am familiar with New Jersey politics and know that those who are screaming the loudest for the Governors scalp as well as others have been themselves the focal point of unethical if bordering on illegal political activities in the past. And so it goes… its a tangled web we weave. Nothing is really cut and dry in life and agendas cloud if not impede even those who may have the strength to say or do the right thing but “handlers” and the ramifications rule as opposed to good sense.

    Reply
    • Carolyn Parr says

      March 18, 2014 at 1:38 am

      Hi Pete, I was trying to focus on using the Christie episode as a way to talk about good and bad apologies. I’m not drawing conclusions here or trying to rush to any political judgment. I agree that he may have stopped short of a full apology because of other considerations — and he’s certainly not the only person who has done this. As my husband says, “Life is lived out in the complexity of the gray.” Carolyn

      Reply
  5. Steve Garmon says

    March 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Exceptionally well reasoned and well stated. Carolyn does so without being all that judge-mental or vitriolic. Behind the message and the actual events it seems rather clear (to me at least) that Christie’s apology was tempered by his concerns for his political future. In trying to protect that future he may have done more damage to it.

    Reply
    • Carolyn Parr says

      March 18, 2014 at 1:42 am

      Thanks Steve. I agree with your comment completely.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Note To Chris Christie: Why Your Apology Failed | Carolyn Parr says:
    January 4, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    […] Click here to read Carolyn Parr's full article… […]

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