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Planning 10.0: Your Ethical Will

April 13, 2016 By Sig Cohen 3 Comments

 
Besides our will, powers of attorney, trust documents, and other legal, financial, and end-of-life instructions that we should share with family members, we need to prepare one other item: our ethical will.Planning 10.0: Your Ethical Will

Ethical wills (or legacy letters) are designed to transmit values from one generation to the next.  They set out our beliefs, principles, and hopes for those who succeed us.  An ethical will often include what we’re grateful for and our expectations for the future.  They are best written over an extended period.  Their purpose is to express what we hope our children will continue to follow and abide by.

Ethical wills are nothing new.  Their origins are rooted in Biblical soil.  Think of Moses speaking his parting words to the children of Israel as they were about to enter the Holy Land. Or, Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in which he told his disciples that, among other Beatitudes: “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth.”

Preparing my ethical will is one of the toughest writing projects I’ve attempted.  How should I convey my values, dreams, and concerns to my wife, children, relatives, and friends, whom I pray will remember me with love and respect?

Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillI want them to know that, for me, generosity of spirit is among the most central of virtues.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillThat our ears should be more open than our mouths.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillThat listening isa form of communication.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillThat, yes, I’ve missed the mark on some issues and ask for forgiveness.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillThat being with family is my greatest joy.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillThat I love contributing to my community and my country.  And that mediation is in my life blood.

There’s more I want to write:

Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillPlease don’t bear grudges; they just take up space in your precious mind.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillTry not to seek retribution for past wrongs.  Yes, that’s hard.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillTry to forgive.  Harder still.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillShow warmth and wear a smile.  Too trite?  Maybe, but smiles are like magic wands.
Planning 10.0:  Your Ethical WillNever give up on your dreams, but check with reality from time to time to learn whether you’re on the right track.

Thinking about what I intend to write is daunting.  Putting these thoughts on paper is even more challenging.

 
Sig Cohen
Sig Cohen
Beyond Dispute Associates
202-359-6141
www.toughconversations.net
sigcohen@toughconversations.net

 

© Sig Cohen and Beyond Dispute Associates, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sig Cohen and Beyond Dispute Associates with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

Filed Under: Communication, Family Matters, Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, End of Life Planning, Ethical Will, Family, family communication, Sig Cohen

Comments

  1. Susan Klein says

    April 14, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Sig,
    Thank you so much for sharing this. You and your group are certainly in the right place.

    Warm regards and love,
    Susan Klein

    Reply
  2. Helen McConnell says

    May 5, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    This is an excellent idea and one that I am going to share with my elderly mother so that she can do it while there is still time if she wants. Thank you for suggesting it.

    Reply
  3. M. Jane says

    May 6, 2016 at 10:01 am

    Thanks for sharing Sig. An excellent tool for people to use. we often don’t spend enough time reflecting on what is truly important to us and sharing that with others. The Ethical Will is a great way to make that happen. Please keep up these great thoughts.

    Reply

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