Today we pass along a gem from another blog, by Lawrence Polsky. http://www.humanresourcesiq.com/default/contributors/2107-lawrence-polsky/ :
1. Delay. As helpful as it is to face problems head on, putting things off is sometimes a smart strategy. “Let’s talk about it later when we have more time to think it through”.
2. Expectation Management. Setting the stage helps people get emotionally prepared. “I know you won’t like this, but I think we need to talk about it anyway.”
3. Appreciation, Then Correction. Balancing positive aspects of the relationship with the negative will help reduce strong reactions. “You are very good at ____. We simply need to adjust ____”
4. Same Side. Sit at the same side of the table when delivering bad news. This reduces the psychological barrier of the table and opens up the communication.
5. Relief. Sharing the range of your true feelings builds rapport, trust and sets the right tone. Try saying: “I am so glad we are talking about this,” or “You are really someone I trust to work this through with.”
6. Leverage Positive. Remember to remember what is going well. “It is also clear from this conversation that we are doing pretty well with ____”
7. Acknowledgement. Seeing things from the other person’s point of view will help them know you are not out to get them, but are really trying to work out an issue. “I see that this is a challenge for you”, “I understand that you are having a hard time with _____”
8. Your Responsibility in the Problem. There are two sides of every problem. Taking responsibility for your part will build the relationship. And it is the right thing to do! “I see now how I am contributing to this by doing ______.”
9. Your Responsibility In The Solution. Promise to action will ease the conflict conversation. “Next time I will _____ .”
10. Sincere Apology (If appropriate). Apologizing is the ultimate acknowledgement of any wrong doing. “I am so sorry I created this problem”, “I apologize for inadvertently creating such reactions.”
Thanks to Lawrence Polsky for this excellent advice!
What has worked for you? Add a comment.
Carolyn Parr
Call us at 202-259-6141!