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Writing in Pencil

November 30, 2022 By Carolyn Parr 2 Comments

My Christmas card list is in ink, but every year it needs a re-do. Friends have moved. Or divorced. Or died. Half-way into Covid I began to write all my calendar entries in pencil. It feels safer.

A couple of weeks ago I was startled to discover I’d been on Zoom five nights in a row. Meetings had become so easy that they also became more frequent. Why have a phone call when you can call a meeting? No need to dress, drive, or show up somewhere. And you save the travel time, right?

My Zoom addiction seemed to grow even as Shutdown receded. When a deer jumped over my car hood as I sped along a highway around 7:30 PM, I became more hesitant to drive after dark. With fewer night meetings my calendar temporarily became more manageable. But Zoom called and I found myself having to choose among several simultaneous events, all enjoyable or worthy of support. 

It became harder to say “No” to book clubs, writers groups, and committees. Suddenly I was active in seven church groups, three nonprofits, and miscellaneous educational activities. I felt needed –- ego-stroked? — or maybe something just sounded interesting or fun. 

I missed quiet time with Jim after dinner. I wondered whether he felt neglected. 

So I whited-out half my calendar and re-wrote in pencil if I needed to make choices. I’m learning to say “no.” If Jim or one of my kids needs to talk, I can usually let the meeting go, even with a little guilt or regret.

Writing in pencil is a good metaphor for my life. I often live with the myth that I’m in control, but then life gobsmacks me upside the head. And I get to rewrite my plans.

An interviewer once asked Billy Graham, “What about your life has surprised you most?” He answered: “The brevity of it.” Graham lived to be 99. That must have surprised him even more. 

Writing in pencil reminds me that the present moment is all I have. Life is brief. It is precious. I still like to have a plan, but only if it’s flexible and subject to change. 

Now the only things I’m writing in ink are birthdays and anniversaries.

Filed Under: Blog

Comments

  1. M. Jane Markley says

    November 30, 2022 at 3:17 pm

    Carolyn, oh I couldn’t concur more. Everything I sign up for seems of so much value or interest. But am getting better at letting things go, even at the last minute, when it comes down to quality of time and the important people in my life. I am also getting better at saying “NO” to begin with which is definitely easier on me. I don’t have this skill mastered, by far, and appreciate reminders like yours to keep me on the right path. So, thanks!!!!!

    Reply
  2. Hildy Cardaci says

    December 5, 2022 at 11:09 pm

    Seems this was a prophetic thing…?

    Reply

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